Forever Indebted
by bananacosmicgirl
Summary: Harry owes Snape a number of life debts and now Snape is going to collect. Mpreg, very dark.
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE:** Forever Indebted  
**AUTHOR:** Cosmic  
**AUTHOR'S EMAIL:** **AUTHOR'S HOME PAGE:** **AUTHOR'S JOURNAL:** R (bad language, serious issues)  
**STATUS:** Complete

**CATEGORIES:** Mpreg  
**PAIRINGS: **No main pairing. Mentioned pairings: HG/RW  
**CHARACTERS:** Harry, Hermione, Ron, Severus

**WARNINGS:** Mpreg. Attempted suicide. Dark-fic. Evil!Snape.  
**SPOILERS:** No.

**SUMMARY:** Harry owes Snape a number of life debts and now Snape is going to collect.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES 1:** This story is an entry in Misconceptions: Harry Potter Mpreg Fuh-Q-Fest Wave 4 (http/ hpmpregfqf. design-of-decadence. net/

**Challenges:** - Challenge 49. Harry owes Snape a number of life debts. The demanded payment? One baby per life debt. The story must include this sentence: "A life for a life Potter, you owe me and I intend to collect."** Submitted by:** Starzy

**Pairing(s):** None

**Holiday(s)** Birthday

**AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: **This fic is quite a bit darker than all my other mpregs. Although I write the fics, I always find it highly doubtful that Harry, while still young, would be all that happy about an unplanned pregnancy. An unhappy pregnant person is something I've wanted to write for a while, so that's what this fic deals with. It has a very, very nasty!Snape.

**BETA:** Jen (thank you always!)  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

_

* * *

_

Forever Indebted

---

Part One

---

Along with a multitude of letters and gifts Harry Potter received a simple, hand-written note delivered by a Hogwarts owl on his twentieth birthday.

_Mr. Potter,_

_Turning twenty means turning into a true grown-up. I have saved your life six times since you started at Hogwarts – and that is counting only the truly severe ones. Now that you are old enough, I am going to collect the life debts you owe me. A life for a life Potter; you owe me and I intend to collect. Arrive at Hogwarts tomorrow at ten. I will meet you at the main entrance. _

_Severus__ Snape_

_Potions Master of Hogwarts_

* * *

At twelve o'clock the day after his birthday, Harry stormed into the apartment Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley had moved into after finishing school.

"Harry!" Hermione said, standing up from her place at the kitchen table. "What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

"Snape!" Harry spat. "He's what's wrong!"

Hermione's eyebrows creased together in a frown. "What did he do now?"

"He gave me a birthday present!" Harry yelled.

Hermione raised an eyebrow instead. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Oh no, you don't understand," Harry said, pacing back and forth. "This isn't something I wanted from him, _ever_."

"Harry, what did he give you?" Hermione asked.

"He gave me a fucking baby!" Harry yelled.

Hermione frowned deeply. "What are you talking about, Harry?"

Harry, his face red and his hands shaking, gave Hermione the note he'd received the day before. She took it and read it quietly, the frown deepening.

"He gave me a fucking baby," Harry repeated, his voice now low and trembling. "He said I owe him several life debts and that's how I'm going to repay him – by giving him heirs. _Six fucking heirs_."

"But—" Hermione started, her eyes wide as she stared from the letter and then at Harry. "But you said he gave you a baby – are you already pregnant?"

Harry stopped for a moment and all the anger and all the tension seemed to flow out of him. He sank to his knees on the floor. Finally, he whispered, "Yes."

Hermione's eyes widened again and she kneeled before Harry, wrapping her arms around him. "Oh Merlin," she mumbled.

She rocked him and he shook against her.

"He gave me a drink when I got there today," Harry whispered. "Then he explained what he was going to have me do, how I was going to repay him his life debts. I said that I— that I didn't want to, of course. He just— sneered at me and said that it was too late, that the drink was a potion and it had— it had a mix of his genes and mine and— and it will— alter me— so that—"

Harry buried his head in Hermione's shoulder again, unable to continue. She didn't need him to finish explaining; she'd read about the potion. It would alter Harry's insides, creating a tiny womb, which would grow as the baby grew. From the womb, the birthing canal would start growing as well and it would open up Harry's body in the seventh month, so that his body could get ready for the birth. She was certain that Snape had explained all of this to Harry.

The bastard.

Harry had been trying to get his life back on track since Voldemort's defeat a little over a year ago and was only now getting his head above water again. He'd had the toughest life out of anyone she knew and still, Severus Fucking Snape had to choose him to be his _brood mare_!

Hermione was truly seething.

"Come on, Harry," she whispered to him and helped him off the floor. She took him to the small guestroom and made him lie down. She took his shoes off and then she pulled the cover on top of him. "Rest for a while, Harry. I'll be back soon."

* * *

She Apparated to just outside the Hogwarts gates and then stomped angrily all the way up to the castle, down to the dungeons where she knocked on the door for a short second before blowing the doors of their hinges and storming inside.

"Severus Snape, come out here you weakass fucking wanker," she said. Hermione didn't swear very often; only when she was truly pissed off – and she was truly pissed off now.

Snape strode out. His eyebrow rose and his lips curled as he saw what she'd done to the door. "Miss Granger."

Hermione levelled her wand at his heart. "You have no idea how much I'd like to A-K you right now, Snape."

"I suppose the Potter brat has come to you to whine?" Snape asked, sounding bored and unimpressed by her.

"Why are you so hell-bent on destroying his life? He's not a student anymore; he's not doing anything to you!" Hermione yelled at him, her wand still raised.

"He owes me a life debt, Miss Granger. Several, actually. Now, even a Muggleborn such as yourself should know that a person can collect a life debt any way he or she wants. This is the way I want to do it. Besides – a life for a life is a fair trade, wouldn't you say?" His voice was drawling, bored.

"No, I wouldn't say that," Hermione said. "Harry never asked for you to save him and I'm betting that he didn't want you to do so at least one of the times that you did."

Snape's sneer deepened. "Perfect Potter never had a death wish – why would he? He has everything."

"You know, Snape, for someone as smart as you, you really should learn to do some information digging before you jump to the wrong conclusions," Hermione ground out.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" snarled Snape.

"I am sure you'll find out sooner or later," Hermione said, "now that you are so intimately linked, you will have to get to know each other."

"I will have to do no such thing," Snape said. "He will go through pregnancy and deliver the baby, whom will then be delivered to me. This will be repeated five times over and after that, I will consider his debts to be repaid."

"You are inhumane," Hermione spat at him. "And what are you going to do with the children? Turn them over to some nanny to bring them up?"

"Of course," said Snape. "You do not fool yourself to think that I will have time to care for the brats myself, do you?"

Hermione just stared at him, horrified and disgusted. Then she said, "_Tento__ halitus_."

A beam shot out from her wand out through the window. It reappeared in the next second and surrounded Snape before disappearing into him. He bent over double.

Panting, he looked up at her, his eyes wide. "What did you do?"

"Just a little nifty spell I learned," Hermione spat at him. "I hope you have a nice nine months, Professor."

* * *

"You did what?"

Harry was sitting up on the bed in the guestroom looking quite bewildered at Hermione.

"The Tento Hali spell," Hermione explained, a small but evil smile on her face. "Just to make sure that Snape feels just what a joy it is to be pregnant."

"And it gives him all the bad parts of my pregnancy?" Harry asked.

"Well, it doesn't give them to him – you'll still have them," Hermione said. "But it'll duplicate them and Snape will feel them."

"The morning sickness?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Hermione said. "The morning sickness, the bloated feeling, the food cravings, the sore chest—"

"Okay, okay," Harry said, looking suddenly pale. "No need to continue. I just realized that I'm going to go through all of those things."

Hermione smiled softly at him, taking his hand. "Don't worry, Harry. You'll be okay. Ron and I will be here every step of the way, okay?"

Harry nodded, still looking quite pale. He chuckled nervously. "I still can't believe you did that. That you dared to go to him and hex him like that."

"People do crazy things when they're pissed," Hermione smiled, happy that Harry was looking better. She had yet to tell him about Snape's plan to have the children raised by nannies; she didn't think it would be a good idea to bring up while Harry was so unstable.

"I've never seen you that pissed," Harry said.

"No, but you've never done anything quite as disgusting," Hermione said.

"You should be careful, though," Harry said. "Snape's pissed at you now. It might be good if you got some sort of protection against him."

Hermione smiled. "I might do that." She stood up and continued, "I need to run some errands and I'll be back in a few hours. You're very welcome to stay if you don't want to be alone. Ron will be home in a little while, I believe; he's just at the Burrow to say good bye to Ginny before she leaves for the States."

Harry shook his head. "I think I need to be alone for a while. I just— I don't know. I need to think for a bit."

Hermione smiled. "Just don't overdo it."

Harry grinned and Hermione could see some of the old Harry in that smile. "I won't, I promise."

* * *

Two weeks passed and Harry almost started forgetting the whole thing. Almost, except for the nagging feeling that never left him, telling him that something was different inside of him now. He could feel it sometimes; the sudden, sharp pain as something within him moved to make space for the life now growing inside of him and other times when it was just a low, insistent ache that wouldn't leave him alone.

When two weeks had passed since his birthday, Harry started experiencing morning sickness. The only thing that got him through that was the fact that he knew Snape lying bent over the toilet as well, throwing up just as much. It made him smile for a second, before the next wave of nausea hit him.

Still, he lived his life normally. Harry had a desk job at the Ministry of Magic that he'd gotten only on the credentials that he was the Boy Who Lived. He didn't need to work at all, really; the money his parents had left him combined with the money that flowed in through the fund the Ministry had set up for him, for the donations people gave, was far more than enough to cover his expenses. He, in turn, donated most of the money to charity.

"Harry, are you awake?"

Harry looked up to see Angelina Johnson standing in front of his desk.

Harry shook his head to clear it and nodded. "Of course. What do you need?"

"I just need you to go through these reports and have them back for me tonight," she answered and gave him a stack of papers. "I don't think they're in order; that Creevey boy was the one who got them for me in the first place."

"Oh," Harry said. "No problem, I'll fix it."

Angelina smiled at him, concern written in her eyes over how odd he was acting, but left without a question. Angelina was sweet and a good boss.

Harry gasped as he felt another sharp stab in his stomach. It felt like something was twisting around and his hands balled into fists as the pain intensified – and then it let go of him, just as suddenly.

Harry rested his forehead in his hands. How in the world was he supposed to do this? He didn't want this child – but he would never make it through the pregnancy if all he felt towards the _thing_ was hatred. It would consume him, render him as he had been a few years ago. He didn't want to go back to being like that again. But he couldn't love the child; Snape would take him or her away as soon as he or she had been born and Harry would never watch them grow up. He would only be Snape's brood mare, carrying his children until Snape decided he didn't want any more. For Harry knew that if Snape decided that he wanted more than six children, he would be able to demand it. He had saved Harry's life on more occasions than that.

His shaking hand moved from his forehead to his stomach. His fingers felt cold as he touched the skin. His stomach was still as flat as ever, even slightly rippled now that he had started working out. Harry knew that it would be many weeks until he started showing. He wondered what it would feel like.

Sighing deeply again, Harry picked up the reports and started working.

* * *

Harry spent many a night at Hermione and Ron's place. They had still not told Ron what was going on, but Harry spending time at their flat was not unusual, so he didn't notice any difference. Harry still didn't know how he was supposed to go about telling his best friend something like this, especially as he usually didn't even want to admit it to himself.

Hermione spoke to Professor McGonagall every now and then and she told Harry that the Professor had told her during their last meeting about the Potions Master's new, odd illness that he refused to speak about. Harry wasn't sure what he felt about it; most of all, he didn't want to think about Snape at all. Thinking about him always made him think of the pregnancy – and it was so much easier if he didn't think about that at all.

"Would you like some wine, Harry?" Ron asked, holding out a bottle. "A very nice Chardonnay, I have here."

Harry looked at Hermione for a second. "No thanks," he said, "I've decided to cut down on the alcohol."

Ron's eyebrows rose. "Cut down on the alcohol? Why? You've never been a big drinker as it is."

Harry shrugged. "I don't know, I just don't feel the need to drink anymore," he lied. Truthfully, he'd very much like to drown himself in liquor. Maybe then he'd forget about Snape and the pregnancy and the baby that was going to come out of him in eight months.

"Okay, Harry – your choice. And more for me," Ron said with a grin. "Hermione, love, would you like some?"

"Please," Hermione said, holding out her glass to him.

Harry watched with a small smile on his face as the two friends kissed and took a sip of the wine. They looked every bit as much in love now as they had been when they'd first gotten together. Harry looked down at his glass of water, wondering if he would ever find anything like it. Who could possibly want a brood mare – someone who was to be impregnated by a man who loathed him? Besides, it was at least six years until the last child was born – if Snape was happy at that point. Harry wondered if he'd even still be alive at that point.

"Harry, Harry, you're zoning out on us," Ron said.

Hermione smiled slightly at him. "You look tired. If you want to go to bed, the guestroom is available."

Harry nodded. "I think I'll actually take you up on that."

He said good night to his friends and went to the guestroom, where he crept under the covers and fell asleep instantly.

* * *

The now familiar feeling of nausea awoke him. He got up out of bed and ran across the hall to the bathroom, where he threw up any and all content of his stomach. He sat back, panting.

"Harry?"

Ron's tired voice came from the doorway. Ron's hair was standing on end and he looked barely awake.

"Harry, what's wrong mate?" Ron asked.

Harry looked up at him tiredly. He knew that there was nothing he could say that wouldn't make Ron worry, so he opted to just tell him the truth.

"I'm pregnant."

Ron blinked owlishly. "I think I'm still asleep because I'm sure I just heard you say that you're pregnant."

"You heard right," Harry sighed, getting off the floor now that the nausea had passed.

"But— you can't be," Ron said. "You haven't had sex in years."

Harry noticed that Ron didn't reflect on him being a pregnant male. It was some proof that male pregnancies were, although not common, at least existing in the Wizarding world.

"Thank you for that reminder," Harry muttered. "I'm not pregnant through sex, I'm pregnant through potion."

Ron looked at him and then his eyes travelled to Harry's stomach. "You don't look pregnant."

"That's because I'm not that far along yet," Harry said quietly.

"But— who? Why? I didn't know you wanted a family already," Ron said, looking thoroughly confused.

"I don't, Ron," Harry sighed. "Someone else wanted heirs and as I owed that person a few life debts, he decided that this would be the way I repay him."

Ron looked him in the eyes again. "Fuck," he said simply.

"Yeah," Harry said.

"Who?" Ron seemed to tired to string together longer sentences. It was too early in the morning for him to be up and Harry wondered if this wasn't the perfect time to tell him everything. Ron didn't seem so prone to throwing a fit at the moment and although Snape deserved every fit anyone could muster, Hermione had already hexed him once and Harry didn't want to have to deal with more angry people.

"Snape," he said.

It seemed like the coin suddenly dropped and Ron roared, "Snape?"

"Ron! Ron! Don't! Your girlfriend has already hexed him good and proper, you don't have to get angry," Harry said.

"I _don't_ have to get _angry_?" Ron shouted at him. "That greasy bastard has knocked you up because you owe him a life debt or two and _I don't have to get angry_?"

"No," Harry said. "Besides, you'll wake Hermione up."

"Too late," Hermione said, walking down the corridor to Harry and Ron. "I'm already up. Question is, what are you two doing up?"

"Morning sickness," Harry explained at the same time as Ron yelled, "That bastard Snape knocked Harry up!"

"Yes, honey, I know," Hermione said. "I've already hexed him."

"You knew and you didn't tell me? Why didn't you tell me about this? Oh, I'm going to _murder_ that son of a bitch," Ron said.

"Ron, language," Hermione said sharply. "Let's go sit down, shall we?" she continued, dragging the two men with her to the kitchen.

"You didn't tell me! Why didn't you tell me?" Ron asked again.

"Because I didn't want her to, okay?" Harry said tiredly.

"But _why_?" Ron asked. "I'm your best friend, or at least I'm supposed to be."

"You are my best friend," Harry said. "I just— I don't want to face it and admitting it to you is doing just that – facing it. I just— I can't handle it yet."

"But I'm supposed to help you," Ron said.

"Like you're helping him now with the fit-throwing?" Hermione asked.

Ron turned to her. "You know what, if you were pissed enough to go and hex a Hogwarts professor, then I really don't think that what I'm doing comes anywhere close to the fit you threw," he said.

Harry and Hermione stared at him. The room was quiet for a few long seconds before they both started chuckling. Ron looked from one to the other, confused, but joined the bubbling laughter after a moment. Then Harry's laughter turned into tears and both Ron and Hermione wrapped themselves around Harry, trying to comfort him.

"I can't do this," Harry sobbed. "I just can't. I can't love the baby because I don't want it and I won't get to keep it, but I can't go through this pregnancy without feelings for it either."

Hermione rubbed his back. "I know, Harry. But you'll find a way, I promise. And we'll help you, okay?"

Harry nodded, burying his head in Hermione's shoulder.

"At least now I know why you didn't want the wine," Ron said softly, patting Harry's back.

* * *

Enjoy? Review! Part two will be up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**TITLE:** Forever Indebted  
**AUTHOR:** Cosmic  
**AUTHOR'S JOURNAL:** www. livejournal. com/ users/ bananacosmic

**RATING:** R (bad language, serious issues)  
**STATUS:** Complete

**CATEGORIES:** Mpreg  
**PAIRINGS: **No main pairing. Mentioned pairings: HG/RW  
**CHARACTERS:** Harry, Hermione, Ron, Severus

**WARNINGS:** Mpreg. Attempted suicide. Dark-fic. Evil!Snape.  
**SPOILERS:** No.

**SUMMARY:** Harry owes Snape a number of life debts and now Snape is going to collect.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES 1:** This story is an entry in Misconceptions: Harry Potter Mpreg Fuh-Q-Fest Wave 4 (http/ hpmpregfqf. design-of-decadence. net/

**Challenges:** - Challenge 49. Harry owes Snape a number of life debts. The demanded payment? One baby per life debt. The story must include this sentence: "A life for a life Potter, you owe me and I intend to collect."** Submitted by:** Starzy

**Pairing(s):** None

**Holiday(s)** Birthday

**AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: **This fic is quite a bit darker than all my other mpregs. Although I write the fics, I always find it highly doubtful that Harry, while still young, would be all that happy about an unplanned pregnancy. An unhappy pregnant person is something I've wanted to write for a while, so that's what this fic deals with. It has a very, very nasty!Snape.

**BETA:** Jen (thank you always!)  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

_

* * *

_

Forever Indebted

---

Part Two

---

The morning sickness only got worse as the weeks passed. The urge to pee more often also made itself known; Harry had to take quite a few breaks during work as his bladder made itself known again.

Hermione gave him a book on pregnancy.

"So that you know what to expect," she said.

Before the week was over, it had already been thumbed through quite a few times. Despite not wanting the child growing inside of him, Harry couldn't help but care. He still didn't want the baby to be hurt by what he did – quitting alcohol was proof of that – and he checked his symptoms carefully to make sure that it wasn't unusual. Apparently, the things he was experiencing were all completely normal.

As another week passed, Harry noticed his nipples becoming darker and his chest seemed to swell. He still didn't have female breasts but if they grew just a little bit more, his figure would definitely be able to be mistaken for a woman's. Harry hid the changes beneath large robes and no one said anything. Save for Hermione and Ron, of course.

"My lord, you've got boobs," Ron said ineloquently as he and Hermione Apparated to Harry one afternoon for dinner.

Harry blushed beet-red and Hermione slapped him upside the head. "What have I said about thinking before you talk?"

"Sorry, Harry," said Ron, "I just—"

"I— I know," Harry said, deeply embarrassed. "I— have boobs."

He pulled on a robe to hide his new assets and Ron did his best not to stare. Hermione hugged him and told him not to mind Ron; he was just being an idiot.

"An idiot perhaps," Harry said softly, "but an honest one."

* * *

Eleven weeks pregnant, Harry started noticing his waistline disappearing. His rippled stomach was slowly fading away, being replaced by a soft curve. Beneath layers of robes no one was able to tell, but Harry knew and that was more than enough. 

He didn't sleep much, though his body was more tired than it had ever been before. The book said it was normal; his body's workload had increased and it was only natural that he be tired. Still, as soon as Harry tried to lay down to sleep, his mind went into overdrive as he thought about the baby, Snape, the birth and giving the child away never to see him or her again. It made him sick.

As his stomach slowly grew, Harry noticed that his feelings for the little life within him could not be stopped. There was no way he could go through the next seven months without feeling anything, without caring at all. He still couldn't say that he loved the baby, but— he couldn't ignore it either. In the dark night, Harry sat with his hands covering his stomach and he talked to the baby about all the fears and worries that haunted him. When he couldn't see himself, he could pretend that he was talking to someone for real. He was painfully reminded that he was alone, though.

"Most of all, I dread leaving you," he whispered and he wished that there was someone there to hold him, to assure him that he would not have to give this baby away.

* * *

"You need to tell people," Hermione said to Harry. She was standing in the kitchen, making dinner while Harry was sitting by the table, watching. 

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because it's starting to show, even through those robes," Hermione replied. "Especially when you're sitting down like that."

Harry looked down at himself and understood what Hermione meant. His bloated stomach, now nearly four months pregnant, was pushing the fabric. To a person who didn't know, he might just look fat – but everyone knew that Harry Potter could eat any junk without gaining a pound, so the likelihood of them believing that he was fat was unlikely.

"But— I can't," Harry said. "I just— how am I supposed to explain it?"

"With the truth," Hermione said. "How else?"

"But people will hate him," Harry said.

Hermione stopped cleaning the lettuce. "You hate him, Harry. We all do. People _should_ hate him for what he's doing to you. Even if you don't hate him, he's still not nearly worth lying for. He created this mess and he will have to stand for it."

Harry swallowed, knowing Hermione was right. He didn't want to go public about the pregnancy at all; it was still far too embarrassing. Most of all, he didn't want to be portrayed as the brood mare that he already felt like he was.

"Besides," Hermione continued, "I don't think Snape would be happy if you lied. After all, the child is his heir and I don't think he'll want anyone else claiming him or her."

Harry closed his eyes and tried to breathe calmly. Knowing that the truth would come out sooner or later, whether he wanted it to or not, was not helping. Still, it was probably better for him to do it on his own terms.

* * *

The room was deadly silent. 

"But— how?" asked Angelina.

A few more sentences from Harry and all hell broke lose in the small room at the Ministry where Harry had decided to make the announcement. Everyone he knew seemed to be there; people from work, people from Hogwarts, his friends and what he considered family. He knew that some would be hurt that he hadn't told them before he told everyone else, but it was for his own sake; he couldn't go through telling the story over and over again.

Mrs. Weasley looked angrier than Harry had ever seen her; her expression bore a striking resemblance to what Hermione had looked like.

"I'm going to castrate that man," Harry heard her promise her husband.

"Won't help, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said quietly. "He did this through a potion."

Mrs. Weasley's expression changed from anger to concern as soon as she heard Harry's voice. "Oh, my darling," she said, hugging him close. "That horrid man, doing this to you – as if you haven't had a hard enough time already."

Harry took a shaky but calming breath. He didn't want to break down here, in front of everyone.

"You could move into the Burrow if you'd like," Mrs. Weasley continued. "That way we can keep check of you and the baby."

Harry smiled slightly. "Thank you Mrs. Weasley, but I'm just fine in my apartment," he said. "Hermione and Ron have been keeping check of me well enough."

"I'm glad to hear that," Mrs. Weasley said, patting Harry's cheek.

Harry left just minutes later, unable to take the stares and the talking any longer.

* * *

"I felt the baby today." 

Hermione looked as though she wasn't sure whether she was supposed to smile or not and the result was somewhere in between. "How do you feel?" she asked hesitantly.

"It was— weird," Harry said. "Like a fluttering inside. I mean, I think it was the baby at least. Could just have been gases."

Hermione smiled a bit wider. "Did it feel good?"

Harry swallowed, then nodded. "Yes, it did."

Hermione sat down next to him. "How are you feeling, Harry?"

"I'm— I don't know," Harry said, his voice thick. "Sometimes I think I'm fine, that I can just get through all of this without feeling anything for her, for the baby. But then— in the night— I don't sleep, Hermione. I lie awake thinking and I talk to her and I can't help but feel things. I want this baby. I— I don't want to give her away to Snape. I just— I don't think he'll love her. I can't see him being a good father."

Hermione felt bad for a moment that she still hadn't told him of Snape's plans for the child, but there never seemed to be a good reason for her to tell Harry. Harry would find out, eventually.

She hugged him, not knowing what to say or do to make it better. The baby was Snape's; there was nothing they could do about it. She hated the feeling of uselessness.

* * *

The newspapers ran series of articles covering Harry's pregnancy. There were articles about male pregnancy, how the baby would grow inside of Harry, the potion that had been used, the issue of whether this was really an okay way to repay a life debt, and so on. A huge debate started on whether Snape – or anyone who had a life debt to be repaid – should be allowed to take the indebted's baby. Harry tried to ignore the articles best he could; he didn't want any more reminders than he already had. It was hard to ignore, though, when every newspaper screamed about it and paparazzi followed him to get pictures of his growing belly. The interest in Harry Potter grew again and the donations to his fund increased. 

Harry celebrated Christmas at the Burrow, where everyone asked questions at the same time as they tried to not be pushy. They all, including Hermione and Ron, treated him as though he was made of glass. Harry couldn't find it in him to care either way.

His friends at work were lovely; they made sure he wasn't overexerting himself and that he was comfortable. Harry did his best to appear grateful, when in fact he cared less and less for every day that passed. As the baby inside of him grew, his depression deepened. Though he was constantly tired, he barely slept.

He called in sick one day when he couldn't force himself out of bed. Hermione visited him that afternoon, worry written all over her.

"Harry, what's wrong?" she asked, coming into his bedroom. He hadn't left the bed all day.

Harry looked up at her and she gasped. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "I can't do this, Hermione."

She sat down on the side of the bed and pulled Harry to her. "What happened, Harry?" she asked softly.

"Nothing," Harry said, letting himself be held. "I just— I couldn't get out of bed. I can't do this."

"Harry," Hermione said, stroking his hair. She had no idea what she could say or do; she didn't think there was anything that would make him feel better.

"I—" Harry started, but stopped and fresh tears fell. "I want to die."

"Harry!" Hermione gasped.

Harry looked away. "I do!" he sobbed. "I don't want this! I don't want this baby. Neither does Snape, he only wants a heir. I can't set a child in this world, not a child that no one wants. I know what that feels like, Hermione! I won't be responsible for another child feeling the exact same way."

Something in the way Harry spoke nagged Hermione. "Harry, what did you do?" she asked.

He wouldn't look at her. The tears dripped down on the bed covers.

"Harry, what did you do?" Hermione repeated again, panic lacing her voice.

Harry looked up at her. His eyes were red from crying, with dark circles of fatigue beneath. His hair was unkempt as ever, but it now also looked unwashed.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he whispered and sat back to rest against the headboard, closing his eyes as though he was going to sleep.

Making a split-second decision, Hermione grabbed Harry and Apparated to St. Mungo's.

* * *

"You brought him in at the last minute, Miss Granger," said the Healer. 

"He's okay?" Hermione asked urgently, taking Ron's hand for support. Ron looked pale and drawn.

"I won't say he's all right, but he'll survive for now," the Healer said. "I don't know if the poison will have any after-effects and even if it doesn't, Mr. Potter is obviously very depressed to attempt suicide. I will recommend a Mind Healer for him to go to."

Hermione nodded. "And the baby?"

"Is still alive," the Healer said. "It's not out of the woods yet, however. Although we gave Mr. Potter the antidote, the poison is still in his body and can still affect the baby. We don't know if the antidote is safe for the baby either, but we had no choice but to give Mr. Potter the antidote."

Hermione turned into Ron for comfort. He hugged her, looking shaken.

"Where is he!"

The baritone voice carried through the waiting room. A livid Snape stood in the entrance, looking pale with one hand wrapped around his abdomen.

Rage overtook Hermione and she walked over and slapped him, hard, across the cheek. "You fucking bastard."

Snape looked down at her, his jaw working and a vessel at his temple throbbing with anger. "Where is that little brat? He almost killed my child!"

"Yes!" Hermione screamed, not caring about the scene she was causing. "Because you're killing him!"

"That brat has no right to complain!" Snape yelled. Hermione had never seen him so angry – but then, she had never been so angry either. "Giving me a child is not a high price to pay for my saving his life!"

"Look him in the eye and tell him that, you asshole," Hermione said. "Actually, no, you won't have the chance to say that because you are never ever going to see Harry again. Harry has been going through hell the last five months because of you and you think you have the right to barge in here and be angry? You haven't checked up on him once even though he is carrying _your fucking child_!"

"He owes me!" Snape yelled back at her.

"He owes you nothing!" Hermione screamed. "If he hadn't killed Voldemort, you would be dead. Sure, he didn't save your life directly – but he sure as hell did indirectly! And _he_ isn't asking for anything in return. Perhaps I should alter that hex I cursed with you and make you pregnant for real! That would be fair, except it would be putting another child to this world that isn't wanted and I will never do that. Unlike you, I have a _heart_!"

Snape's nostrils flared in anger. "I won't leave here until I see that little brat and tell him the consequences of his actions!"

Hermione didn't so much as flinch. "On the contrary, Snape, you are going to leave here this minute and you are not going to come back. I don't ever want to see you again – if I do, I won't be held responsible for my actions."

"Is that a threat, Granger?" Snape asked.

"Yes," Hermione said. "Now get the fuck out of here!"

"I won't tolerate this—" Snape started.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Snape flew backwards from the force of the spell. He flew through the open doors. Her voice boomed through the room. "Never _ever_ come back!"

With another spell, Hermione flicked the doors closed.

Ron came up behind her and hugged her tightly. She was still shaking with anger but allowed Ron to comfort her.

* * *

Harry didn't wake up until the next day. Hermione and Ron were in the room when he stirred; Hermione started crying when she saw him open his eyes. 

"Why, Harry?" she cried, taking his hand and squeezing it tightly.

Harry looked away. His face was still far too pale and the dark circles beneath his eyes were prominent. Save for the bulge of his stomach, Harry looked like a little lost boy. He pulled the covers tighter around himself.

"Why didn't you just let me die?" he asked quietly.

"Harry," Ron said, looking lost. He didn't know how to act or what to say, even though they had been through this before. It wasn't something one got used to. Still, the last time back before Voldemort had been defeated somehow felt easier. There had been no innocent baby involved back then.

"Did the baby survive?" Harry asked softly.

Hermione nodded. "Can't you feel her?"

Harry shook his head. "I—" He stopped and placed a hand on his stomach. A pained expression came over his features and Hermione wondered for a moment if she should call on a Healer. Then Harry ran his hand over his belly and whispered, "Yes, I can."

Hermione swallowed back more tears at the pain in Harry's voice.

"I'm— glad, I think," Harry said, "that she's okay. If I'd made it and she didn't—"

He trailed off. He seemed at a loss – and neither Hermione nor Ron knew how to help.

"Your Healer gave me the name of a Mind Healer," Hermione said softly. "Will you try that?"

Harry swallowed and looked away, but nodded after a few moments. "I can't live like this—" he said, his voice thick, "and the two of you obviously won't let me die."

Hermione wanted to cry, but kept a brave face. She leaned down and hugged Harry carefully. He hugged her back weakly.

* * *

Harry stayed at St. Mungo's a fortnight after his attempted suicide. The Healers wanted to make sure that the poison was truly out of his system and that the baby hadn't sustained any permanent damage. They wouldn't know for sure until the baby was born of course and perhaps not even then. The poison could have done something to the baby which would affect him or her a long way down the road. 

This sent Harry on enormous guilt trips. He cried himself to sleep at night, though he wasn't always sure if it was because he was sorry that the baby could have been injured, or if it was because he still didn't want to live. Because he didn't. Life seemed endlessly grey without so much as a patch of light.

He started seeing a Mind Healer. It was an older woman, who apparently had a lot of experience with witches and wizards with suicidal thoughts. She coaxed Harry gently into speaking and explained to him that unless he wanted to, he would never get well. She could only do so much.

"But there's nothing here to live for," Harry said to her, his voice quiet in the small room. They were sitting in a chair each, facing each other.

"The baby?" she said. He wondered if she missed all the articles about his pregnancy; they had explained a billion times Snape's plan to take the child as soon as it was born.

"I won't get to keep her," Harry said.

"Her?" asked the lady. "It's a girl?"

Harry looked away, a hand unconsciously moving to his stomach where the baby was doing somersaults, or at least that's what it felt like. "No, I just know that it is," he said. "I just— know."

Silence spread. After nearly a minute's silence, the Healer asked, "If you could keep the child—"

"Don't say that," Harry said. "I won't get to keep her, so there is no use in thinking about it. I— I don't know what I would do if I got to keep her, because I— well, look at me! I can't even take care of myself – how would I be able to care for a baby? So— just don't say it. It's not worth thinking about."

He closed his eyes and shrank back, into himself. He didn't say another word during that hour with the Mind Healer.

* * *

Harry was released from the hospital nearly six months pregnant. He Floo'd home after the Healers explained to him that Apparating could be harmful to the baby. Stepping out of the fireplace, he stopped dead in his tracks. 

"What are you doing here?"

Snape sneered at him. "I came to check up on you, of course."

Harry looked away, a hand going instinctively to his stomach. "I don't need checking up, least of all from you."

"Right, this is why you nearly killed both yourself and the child two weeks ago," Snape sneered angrily.

Harry's head snapped up. "You know about that?"

"Of course I do," said Snape. "I felt the baby's pain, or do you not remember the hex your friend cursed me with?"

Harry looked away again, taking his small bag of things into the bedroom. "Go away, Snape. I'll give you your baby when it's born." Harry refused to call the baby 'her' so that Snape heard it. It was just— personal somehow.

"It will be hard for you to do that if you're dead," Snape said coldly. "So now I want your word that you will not try any other stupidities."

Harry turned around to face Snape. "My word? And what do I get out of it? Besides, how will you know that I won't just break my word? If I'm dead, you can't really do all that much to me."

"I could take you with me and lock you in a room until you've delivered the six heirs you are indebted to give me," Snape sneered.

"And I could stop eating, in which case both me and the baby would die sooner or later," Harry snarled back. "Now get out of my apartment before I contact the Ministry and have them arrest you for trespassing. The baby might belong to you, but you do not own my life. Get out of here, now!"

Harry's voice had risen to a shout. He felt the baby move inside of him, protesting against his anger. He knew it wasn't good for him or for the baby to get this mad, but the man before him inspired no other feeling.

Snape's eyes were blazing as he realized that this was a fight he would not win. A second later, he Apparated out of the apartment.

Harry sank to his knees, his arms around his stomach. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

* * *

"Snape did _what_?" Hermione yelled. 

Harry winced. "He came to visit me."

"That's what I thought you said," Hermione said. "First the hospital, now this—"

"The hospital?" Harry asked. Feeling tired and uncomfortable standing, he sat down on the couch. Hermione stayed standing, pacing the length of the living room and back again.

"He came to visit you on the day you—" she hesitated, "—were brought in. He came in yelling to see you and I told him that he couldn't and then threw him out of there. I told the Healers he couldn't be allowed to see you."

Harry looked down, but decided that when he looked down, he saw his stomach and he didn't want to see that, so he looked out the window instead. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I— I don't know," Hermione said. "There was so much going on and you were so— down. I just— I wanted to protect you."

Harry was a little irritated, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry. He didn't have the energy. "It would be nice to know these things. He is the— father of the baby."

"Don't call him that," Hermione said. "He has done nothing to deserve that title."

"Neither have I."

Hermione massaged her temples. "Harry—"

"What?" Harry asked. "It's true. I just happen to be carrying her. I don't— _love _her, or even want her." He sighed and this time he looked down because he wanted to see himself. "I can't feel anything for her, because if I do, then I _will_ commit suicide when she's born and I can't have her."

"If you had the chance, would you keep her?" Hermione asked.

Harry closed his eyes. "I can't think like that, Hermione. It's not going to happen. Snape owns her."

"If you could, would you?" Hermione insisted. "Would you keep her?"

Harry swallowed and shrugged slightly. "I don't know. I don't know how to take care of a baby. Hell, I can't even take care of myself, obviously. But— if I couldn't, I would at least make sure that she was adopted by a good, loving family, perhaps even someplace where I could see her every now and then. Just as long as she is somewhere where people love her, it would be okay. Snape— Snape won't love her. He only wants an heir so that his line doesn't die out." Harry paused for a second. Hermione kept silent, knowing Harry would continue and he did. "I wonder what he'll do with the other five. Perhaps it's just to torture me. Just knowing that he can do it. Who knows, perhaps he won't make me pregnant again as soon as she's born – perhaps he'll wait a while and let me think that he doesn't want another and then he'll slip the potion to me somehow—"

"He wouldn't do that," Hermione said, horrified. "No one could be that heartless."

Harry looked up at her, pain in his eyes. "He's forcing me through this," he said. "I'm not sure he has a heart."

Hermione shook her head in agreement. The more she saw how the man acted, the more the hatred grew inside. She wasn't a person to hate easily and she knew that Snape had done many good things during the war – but there was nothing, absolutely _nothing_, that would make what he was doing to Harry right.

Ron chose that moment to Apparate into the living room. He looked unusually happy and kissed Hermione's cheek as soon as he saw her.

"Have you heard the news?" he asked, looking from Hermione to Harry.

Hermione frowned. "What news?"

Ron's smile became wider. "Obviously not," he said. He focused on Harry. "The Ministry are going to investigate the possibility of a law against life debts being repaid through having children!"

Harry's mouth fell open and Hermione gasped. "What?" they asked in unison.

"The debate that your pregnancy has caused about whether it's right to let the indebted repay his debt by giving the other a child has resulted in an investigation about whether it should be allowed or not," Ron said. "This way of repaying a life debt hasn't been used in over a century – and now the Ministry are planning to make it completely illegal."

"When will they decide on whether it should be allowed or not?" Harry asked, a lump forming in his throat.

"Well, since it's about the great Harry Potter and you are quite far along as it is, they have decided to speed up the paper work," Ron said. "It's not like it's a law that will affect all that many people anyway. They're going to decide in exactly one month."

"But—" Harry said. "What will happen to the baby?"

"They haven't decided yet," said Ron, "but there are people saying that since the investigation is only brought on because of you, they will form it to be in your best interest. You will be the only one who's going to be affected by the part about the baby – so it's likely that they will decide that you will get to keep the baby, or at least that you will raise it together with the other father."

Harry felt faint. The world was swimming before him as he heard Ron's words. He couldn't allow himself to believe that the law would come to pass – and even if he did, he wasn't sure what to think. Was he supposed to keep the baby? Was he supposed to raise her with Snape? Or would it be best, like Hermione and he had just talked about, to give her up for adoption? Harry still wasn't sure that he would be able to love her like a child should be loved.

And he couldn't quite hope yet either. The law might not come to pass.

Hermione hugged him awkwardly, a smile on her face. "See, this might just work out after all," she said to him.

Ron kept shining like a sun and Harry could almost, _almost_, allow himself to feel joy.

* * *

Enjoy? Review! Part three will be up soon. 


	3. Chapter 3

**TITLE:** Forever Indebted  
**AUTHOR:** Cosmic  
**AUTHOR'S EMAIL:** bananacosmicgirl hotmail. com  
**AUTHOR'S HOME PAGE:** www. cosmicuniverse. net  
**AUTHOR'S JOURNAL:** www. livejournal. com/ users/ bananacosmic

**RATING:** R (bad language, serious issues)  
**STATUS:** Complete

**CATEGORIES:** Mpreg  
**PAIRINGS: **No main pairing. Mentioned pairings: HG/RW  
**CHARACTERS:** Harry, Hermione, Ron, Severus

**WARNINGS:** Mpreg. Attempted suicide. Dark-fic. Evil!Snape.  
**SPOILERS:** No.

**SUMMARY:** Harry owes Snape a number of life debts and now Snape is going to collect.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES 1:** This story is an entry in Misconceptions: Harry Potter Mpreg Fuh-Q-Fest Wave 4 (http/ hpmpregfqf. design-of-decadence. net/

**Challenges:** - Challenge 49. Harry owes Snape a number of life debts. The demanded payment? One baby per life debt. The story must include this sentence: "A life for a life Potter, you owe me and I intend to collect."** Submitted by:** Starzy

**Pairing(s):** None

**Holiday(s)** Birthday

**AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: **_This is Mpreg. **MPREG**. If you don't like, don't read. Don't leave me anonymous reviews telling me it's impossible, because this is fanfiction and I do as I please with the characters. If it's possible to erase and re-grow bones, humans can change their appearance at will and so on... well, I will write mpreg.If you don't like slash, mpreg,or any of the other contentin my stories,don't read them. There are over 200 000 other HP fanfics that you can enjoy yourself with. Let those of us who enjoy reading and writing mpreg continue to do so._

**BETA:** Jen (thank you always!)  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

_

* * *

_

Forever Indebted

---

Part Three

---

The weeks passed and Harry's stomach grew. With it grew his nervousness. A small light of hope had been lit within him, like a beacon in a night black tunnel. He didn't know yet if it was the light of a saviour or if it was the train coming to mow him over.

Harry kept going to work every day, needing the paperwork to keep him occupied. His near suicide had been in the paper and his co-workers walked on eggshells around him, until he had to tell Angelina to tell the others that he wouldn't break if they spoke freely around him. It didn't mean things went back to the way they had been before, but it was a bit better, at least.

Harry slept more often at Ron and Hermione's flat. He didn't want to be alone anymore and he slept better knowing that he was close to his friends.

"But you have to tell me if you want a night off from babysitting me," Harry said apologetically.

"Don't be silly, Harry," Hermione said and squeezed his hand. "You need us and we're here for you."

Ron nodded in agreement. Still, Harry tried to sleep at home at least two nights a week.

Harry noticed stretch marks appearing on the lower part of his stomach. They were quite faint, but Harry could still stand and look at them in the mirror, tracing the patterns. It fascinated him for some reason.

Harry's back was killing him and he loved when Ron or Hermione took the time to give him a massage. The pregnancy was, as he neared the end of what the book called 'the second trimester', becoming a pain. He had trouble breathing sometimes because the baby seemed to press upwards on his lungs, he started having to go to the bathroom every hour again and his breasts swelled to the point where he actually had to get a bra. It was one of the – probably _the_ – most humiliating thing he had ever done, although Hermione did his best to make him feel comfortable.

He kept getting new robes and undergarments; Madame Malkins had decided that she wanted to show her support. Considering that none of Harry's old trousers fit anymore, it was lucky that she did.

Still, the most painful part of his pregnancy was not knowing what would happen to the baby. Would the law be passed and with it a rule for him to keep the baby, or would it not, meaning that he had to give the child to Snape?

Returning from the bathroom, Harry sat down heavily on the couch in Hermione and Ron's living room. "I'm so tired of this," he said unhappily.

Hermione smiled slightly. "It's only a little over two months left."

Harry nodded. "But until then, I'm going to keep growing and then there's the birth and—" He trailed off. He didn't want to think about anything post-birth.

"How did the check-up go today?" Ron asked.

Harry shrugged. He'd been going to check-ups regularly since his— suicide attempt. Harry could barely think about that anymore. Though he wasn't happy, he didn't want to die any longer. "Everything seems fine," he said. "She's growing just the way she should be and apparently, everything I'm experiencing is completely normal as well."

He couldn't help but feel relieved that the child within him – whom he still referred to as 'she', though he hadn't found out for sure from the Healer – was growing as she should, despite the poison Harry had used. He didn't want the baby to be punished for his stupidity.

"That's great," Ron said, looking a bit unsure of what to say. He tended to be unsure when they talked about the baby, as he didn't know much about them.

"She – the Healer – told me that I should try getting the baby with her head down. I think it was to get ready for the birth," Harry said, frowning slightly.

"How do you make the baby do that?" Hermione asked.

"By standing on all fours, apparently," Harry said. "She said I'd feel it when the baby is in the right position, because she's likely to kick me in the ribs."

"How interesting," Hermione said. "What else did she say?"

"That I should try to make my posture better," Harry replied. "My backaches will lessen if I start standing up straight, apparently. And it's better for the baby."

It wasn't as easy for him to talk about the baby with Hermione and Ron as it had been talking to the Maternity Healer, Harry noticed. The Maternity Healer was impersonal, cut off from his real life. When Harry talked to her, it felt like it was all about business. When he came here and spoke to Ron and Hermione, it felt personal all of a sudden. It felt as though he cared for the thing inside of him, despite all his efforts not to.

With hopeful dread, Harry waited for the day when the Ministry were to make their announcement.

* * *

On the day that Harry entered his seventh month, he noticed a difference in his body. He couldn't quite tell what it was that made him aware of it but when he let his hand run down his bulging belly around his cock and further, he felt a small hole that had never been there before. If Hermione hadn't told him about the birthing canal that would form during the pregnancy and start showing in his third trimester, he would have fainted on the spot. As it was, he only felt a bit dizzy – after all, it wasn't supposed to be there. 

He ran his fingers over the tiny hole – it wasn't bigger than the pinhead of a needle – trying to figure out just how a baby would be able to pass through there. Oh, sure, it would grow – but it couldn't possibly grow enough to let a baby through, could it?

Harry dressed, wondering if anyone else would notice a difference in him. He didn't think so, or at least they'd sign it off to the pregnancy – which would be the right thing to do.

Harry Floo'd to work – and was immediately hauled off by Angelina.

"There you are! We've been waiting for you!" she said.

"What? Why?" Harry asked, running to keep up. His breath soon became laboured and he had to slow down. Angelina noticed and winced.

"I'm sorry, Harry, it's just— the Ministry are going to announce whether there will be a new law or not," she said.

Harry's eyes grew wide and he stopped. "Now?"

Angelina smiled. "Yes! Come on."

They hurried to the elevators and took them to one of the bigger rooms on the first floor. The room was filled with people, most of them from the press and as soon as Harry entered the room, flashbulbs started going off. Harry looked down, trying to make himself smaller and invisible.

A Ministry official stood at the podium at the other end of the room. "Now that you are here, Mr. Potter, I suppose we can start?"

Another official came up to take his place. In a loud, important-sounding voice, he declared, "The Ministry of Magic has today, on February first, decided on the matter of whether to create a new law about whether repayment of life debts through children should be allowed or not." He paused for effect, allowing the photographers to take a few shots. Harry started sweating with nervousness, his breath short.

"From this day forth," the official continued, "the Ministry of Magic has decided to create a law forbidding repayment of life debts through children—"

The man trailed off as everyone in the room started talking at the same time. Harry couldn't hear any of them; he was enveloped in complete silence. He felt the baby move inside of him and his hands shook as he placed them on his belly. Flashbulbs went off as the photographers took picture upon picture, but Harry didn't notice. He would not have to go through this again to give Snape more heirs. A small part of him knew that Snape would find another way for him to repay the life debts, but that didn't matter at the moment. He could only feel—

"People! People!" yelled the official. "If I could have your continued attention? Thank you. The Ministry of Magic has decided to create a law forbidding repayment of life debts through children. Any and all such repayments currently in the works, however, will still fall to the saviour. In a more personal way, this means that Professor Severus Snape will still be the one with the right to the child you are carrying, Mr. Potter."

Harry's eyes widened. His legs wouldn't support him any longer and he fell to the ground, his arms wrapped around his abdomen, tears starting to fall down his cheeks. He was vaguely aware of someone carrying him out of the room. Then welcoming darkness swept over his mind.

* * *

He woke up on the couch in Angelina's office. Angelina was there, as was Hermione. That was all Harry had time to recognize before he remembered why he'd fainted in the first place. Fresh tears made their way down his cheeks and he curled into a ball, his arms around himself. 

Hermione and Angelina watched helplessly.

"He can't have her," Harry sobbed, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. "He can't have her, he can't have her, he can't have her…"

He hadn't allowed himself to hope and yet he still had. He'd wanted it so badly, to get to be the child's guardian, that he had started to believe that it might be possible. Now it was even worse than it had been before Ron had told him of the investigation.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Hermione said softly, pain lacing her voice.

Harry only curled more tightly together, ignoring her.

* * *

Three days later, Harry was hospitalized. He hadn't eaten since the Ministry's announcement and the Healers were getting concerned. He didn't respond when someone talked to him and as the days passed, he seemed less and less aware of anything at all around him. Hermione and Ron tried everything they could think of before contacting St. Mungo's, but in the end, they felt they had no choice. Harry wasn't responding to anything; he spent all day in bed, not moving, not talking, not eating. Like a machine, completely disconnected to the world, Harry only got up when he had to go to the bathroom. 

At St. Mungo's, they forced him to stand up and walk around at regular intervals, they fed him and they tried to get him to talk, without success.

Four days after being admitted, Harry had a visitor.

"You have taken my other heirs from me," Snape snarled as he walked into the room, "but I will not let you kill this child. It is mine!"

Harry didn't respond; he lay staring emptily in front of him. Snape's temper got the better of him and he slapped Harry hard across the cheek.

"Answer me, boy!"

The Potions Master looked sickly; he was pale and drawn and the hand he hadn't used to slap Harry was on his belly. He had gained weight in the last few months; it was an effect of Hermione's spell. He'd gotten food cravings and unlike Harry, he had indulged in them far more. His back was constantly hurting him and sometimes, he could swear that he felt a hard kick in the ribs, though there was no baby inside of him.

Harry still didn't answer. Dark circles beneath his eyes made him look just as sick as Snape, though his breasts and bulging stomach somehow made him look well. His arms were far too thin.

"You are going to pay for all of this," Snape growled at Harry. "The Ministry might have decided that it is illegal for you to have my child but if you fall pregnant again anyway, laws won't matter. And I will take that child as well, for even in jail I will be the child's legal guardian!" Snape grabbed Harry with both hands and shook him forcefully. "Answer me, brat, or you will face the consequences!"

Harry didn't so much as blink. Snape felt a sharp pain in his ribs as the baby kicked again; he gasped and let Harry go. His hands went to his abdomen instead.

"When you are born, you will pay for that," Snape promised.

The door creaked; someone was coming inside. Snape Apparated away, escaping unnoticed.

* * *

Hermione was livid. "How could you not notice anyone coming into his room? Particularly that piece of nasty bastard?" 

Harry was resting on the bed, still unresponsive, but with a large, hand-shaped bruise on the left side of his face.

"We cannot check on our patients every second of the day, Miss Granger," said the Healer.

"What about anti-Apparition wards?" Hermione asked.

The Healer shook his head. "Those are only for our high-risk patients."

"And you don't think he's a high-risk patient?" Hermione nearly screamed.

The Healer frowned at her. "Please, Miss Granger, this is a hospital. Do keep your voice down."

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "I want to see the spell journal for this room. If we can prove that Snape was the one who got in here and did this to Harry, it should speak against him getting to be the legal guardian of the child."

The Healer nodded, seeming thankful that Hermione was calmer. "Of course."

* * *

Hermione met Angelina and Ron in Angelina's office, to tell them what had happened. She brought the copies of the spell journal with her. 

"This is the last Healer in training doing the check-up on Harry before it was time for him to sleep," Hermione said, pointing at a series of numbers and letters. She pointed at other sets of numbers as she continued. "For an hour, there's no magical activity in the room, save for the continuous baby-checker; that's these numbers. Then it gets interesting. _This_ is Snape's magical signature as he Apparated into the room." She paused as Angelina and Ron looked. "About two minutes later, this is the pain alarm, which is raised as soon as a patient's heart rate increases or the patient simply feels pain. I'm guessing this is where Snape slapped him. The alarm goes of in the night shift's office, so they're coming to check on him immediately. And here is Snape's magical signature as he Apparates from the room, just a second before the night shifter came into the room."

Angelina frowned. "This is good, but it would be even better if we had it so that we could show it in photos. I don't think the court will find him unsuitable just because he slapped Harry – after all, Harry has been 'mistreating' himself and the baby and the court might find that to be justifiable cause for something as small as a slap."

Hermione took a deep breath. "As much as I hate to admit it, I know you're right."

"So what do we do about it?" Ron asked.

"Well," said Angelina, "we could go to the court with this and hope for the best – or we could try to get more evidence."

Hermione smiled. "What do you have in mind?"

* * *

The night fell over St. Mungo's again. Hermione and Ron sat in Harry's room, keeping him company as they had every night for the last two weeks. Harry didn't seem to be about to wake from his stupor. 

The room was filled with flowers and well-wishing cards; even a stuffed teddy bear had made its way into the room. Hermione and Ron had read some of the cards; everyone from the regular witches and wizards to high-up Ministry officials and even star Quidditch players had written.

"Let's call it a night, love," said Ron, placing his hands on Hermione's shoulders.

She looked up at him and nodded.

"He'll be all right, soon," Ron said, though his words lacked conviction.

Hermione nodded again and turned back to Harry. She kissed his forehead gently and then laid a hand on his belly. She pressed gently, feeling the baby respond with a foot or an elbow pushing back against her hand. She smiled slightly.

"Good night, Harry," she said. "Sleep tight."

Harry looked unseeingly in front of him. Ron squeezed his shoulder. "Yeah, sleep well mate."

Ron took Hermione's hand and they walked out of the room. Hermione cast a look over her shoulder at her friend before the door fell shut.

* * *

Snape Apparated into the room, landing at the end of the bed. He looked even sicker than the last time he'd been there and one hand was clutching his belly as he felt kicks against his ribs and a pressing against his bladder. 

"You are making me this way!" Snape yelled at Harry. "You're the one who has me running to the bathroom every five minutes and you make me want odd food that I've never wanted before and you make her kick me all the time so that I can't sleep!"

There was something wild in Snape's eyes. "You're going to answer to me now. Now you are going to feel pain. But don't worry the child won't feel it – just you. You'll have the pain all to yourself."

He walked up to the side of Harry's bed. "But we can't do it here," he said. "The spells will notice it. We'll have to do it someplace else and I know just where to go."

"Stop!"

Snape whirled around. Hermione, Ron and four Aurors stood in the doorway, all with their wands drawn.

"Drop your wand," said one of the Aurors.

Snape snarled at them. "I'm only coming to get what is mine," he said.

"You are under arrest for threatening Mr. Potter and using violence against him," the Auror continued.

Snape's eyes became slits. "I don't think so."

He grabbed Harry's arm. Hermione realised what he was doing and her legs obeyed her before she had time to process the thought. She threw herself forward and grabbed hold of Snape at the same moment as he finished the Apparating spell. Snape, Hermione and Harry vanished from the room.

* * *

They landed in a heap on a cold stone floor. Hermione hit her head and before she had time to act, Snape was standing above her with his wand pointed at her throat. 

"You aren't supposed to be here, Miss Granger," he said in a low, dangerous voice. "But now that you are, I guess I can arrange for some repayment. After all, I do owe you."

Hermione's eyes widened but she knew that if Snape would concentrate on her rather than on Harry then everything would be all right, somehow.

A spell later, she was slammed against the wall. Her vision swam and her head hurt. Something that felt like metal settled around her wrists and ankles to keep her rooted to the wall.

"It was a nasty curse, the one you hexed me with," Snape said to her.

"It was supposed to be," Hermione said, though her words slurred slightly because of her throbbing head. "A disgusting spell for a disgusting excuse for a human being."

"Insolence!" Snape yelled and slapped her hard across the cheek. Hermione tasted blood. "I will not accept it!"

Over Snape's shoulder, Hermione saw Harry lying still on the ground. It gave her enough power to stay awake; if she fainted, Snape would start on Harry instead.

"It doesn't matter if you accept it or not," Hermione said and spat blood on the ground. "I will continue to tell you the truth."

"Do you not know who you are dealing with, Miss Granger?" asked Snape. "I was a Death Eater – trust me when I say that I know torture."

"What?" asked Hermione, though she winced inwardly in anticipation of the next bout of pain. "You call this torture?"

"_Crucio_!" screamed Snape and Hermione's world exploded in pain. Every nerve in her body seemed to be on fire; her lungs threatened to collapse and her heart felt like it was about to explode. She wanted to scream but her vocal cords wouldn't work and the scream died in her throat.

Snape ended the curse and Hermione hung panting in the metal holding her up.

"Nice, isn't it?" Snape asked.

"Yes, lovely," Hermione said between raspy breaths. "A real riot."

Then suddenly there were five 'pops' as the four Aurors and Ron Apparated into the room. They looked around and one of the Aurors immediately went to Harry's side, while one of the others shouted a curse at Snape. He froze and fell over to the side, his eyes wide with shock.

Ron ran to Hermione's side and unlocked the metal bars holding her with a quick spell. "Are you all right?"

"I think I'm bleeding a little," Hermione said before she fainted into his arms.

* * *

Snape was found guilty of casting an Unforgivable and the Ministry wanted to send him to Azkaban. An examination made by three separate Mind Healers found Snape to be very mentally unstable and as such, they decided on closed treatment at St. Mungo's Psychiatric unit. With that sentence, the court also decided that Severus Snape was unfit to be the legal guardian of a child and thus Harry Potter would take that role for the expected child instead. 

Hermione, who testified at the trial, found out about the sentence sitting in Harry's room at St. Mungo's. A tired smile graced her lips.

She'd been healed quickly after being brought to the hospital. Still, the memory of the Cruciatus curse couldn't be healed and she sometimes awoke screaming in the middle of the night. Ron would wake up from it and hold her close until she fell asleep again.

Harry had entered his eighth month but had yet to wake from his stupor.

"You're her legal guardian now," Hermione said, taking his hand and giving him a watery smile. "So now you can wake up and allow yourself to love her like you have since the beginning."

Ron's hands on her shoulders didn't lessen the pain when Harry still didn't wake up.

"He'll wake up in his own time," Ron said, trying to sound assuring.

"Yes, I know," Hermione said. "I just wish his own time was now."

"The Healers say the baby is doing just fine," Ron said. "They checked up on her earlier when you were at work. She's as strong as she should be and is getting ready to come out."

Hermione smiled again. "That's good to hear."

* * *

_Enjoy? Have some thoughts about it? Review! It makes me so happy. The final chapter will be up soon._

_I have disabled the possibility for anonymous reviews because of the reviews I have recieved for the last chapter, which had nothing to do with my story and was only hate-reviews towards mpreg. I hope you understand this and if you don't have an account on feel free to send me an email instead. _


	4. Chapter 4

**TITLE:** Forever Indebted  
**AUTHOR:** Cosmic  
**AUTHOR'S EMAIL:** bananacosmicgirl hotmail. com  
**AUTHOR'S HOME PAGE:** www. cosmicuniverse. net  
**AUTHOR'S JOURNAL:** www. livejournal. com/ users/ bananacosmic

**RATING:** R (bad language, serious issues)  
**STATUS:** Complete

**CATEGORIES:** Mpreg  
**PAIRINGS: **No main pairing. Mentioned pairings: HG/RW  
**CHARACTERS:** Harry, Hermione, Ron, Severus

**WARNINGS:** Mpreg. Attempted suicide. Dark-fic. Evil!Snape.  
**SPOILERS:** No.

**SUMMARY:** Harry owes Snape a number of life debts and now Snape is going to collect.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES 1:** This story is an entry in Misconceptions: Harry Potter Mpreg Fuh-Q-Fest Wave 4 (http/ hpmpregfqf. design-of-decadence. net/

**Challenges:** - Challenge 49. Harry owes Snape a number of life debts. The demanded payment? One baby per life debt. The story must include this sentence: "A life for a life Potter, you owe me and I intend to collect."** Submitted by:** Starzy

**Pairing(s):** None

**Holiday(s)** Birthday

**AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: **This fic is quite a bit darker than all my other mpregs. Although I write the fics, I always find it highly doubtful that Harry, while still young, would be all that happy about an unplanned pregnancy. An unhappy pregnant person is something I've wanted to write for a while, so that's what this fic deals with. It has a very, very nasty!Snape.

**BETA:** Jen (thank you always!)  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

_

* * *

_

Forever Indebted

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Part Four

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Harry didn't know what made him wake up in the end. Perhaps it was a kick from the baby or perhaps it was just his mind that decided that it was time for him to get back to the land of the living. Either way, he woke up in the middle of the night to a room filled with flowers and cards, the moon shining in through a window.

He looked down at himself and saw his belly, far larger than he remembered it. He wondered how long he'd been out.

The baby moved in there and Harry's throat constricted as he once more was reminded of the law that had been passed. He wouldn't get to keep his child; the Ministry of Magic had decided that Snape was her legal guardian.

Harry lifted his legs over the side of the bed and stood hesitantly. His body felt large and uncomfortable and his balance was off. He held onto the side of the bed to keep from falling. After standing still for a few moments, he let go of the bed and started walking around the room. He felt the baby settle down as the motions rocked her to sleep and he started looking through the cards and flowers. He was amazed by the amount of people who seemed to care for his and the baby's well-being.

His legs and back started to ache soon enough and Harry made his way back to the bed. He lay down, his hands rubbing his stomach. Then he fell asleep.

* * *

Harry was awake and sitting in one of the chairs in the room when Hermione and Ron arrived the next day. Hermione's eyes grew wide as saucers and Ron's mouth dropped open. 

"Harry!" Hermione said and threw herself around his neck. "You're awake!"

Harry smiled slightly. "It would seem that way."

Ron hugged him as well, smiling widely. "Good to have you back, mate."

"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked.

"I— I don't know," Harry said. "The Healer told me I've been out for almost a month. It's— weird. I don't remember any of it."

"None of it?" Ron asked. "And did the Healer tell you what's happened?"

Harry frowned. "What do you mean 'happened'?"

"You're the baby's legal guardian," Hermione said excitedly.

Harry stared wide-eyed at her. "What?"

"Snape is in jail for using an Unforgivable on me," Hermione said, "and the court found him unfit to be a child's legal guardian. They made you it instead!"

Tears welled up in Harry's eyes as his brain processed the words. "She's— she's mine?"

Hermione hugged Harry again. "Yes, she is," she said. "She's all yours."

Ron wrapped his arms around the two of them as Harry cried the happiest tears he'd ever cried.

* * *

"What I don't understand is why Snape went so— insane," Harry said. "I mean, he was nasty in school, but he wasn't insane. He would never have used the Unforgivable back then – at least not on someone innocent or as revenge." 

Hermione sighed. "The Healers who did the examination said that it was probably a combination of factors. Living the life he has, seeing the things he did, being under the Cruciatus himself several times, combined with the hex I cursed him with made him insane. Feeling like you have a baby inside of yourself when you know you don't is, apparently, not good for your mental health." She couldn't feel sorry for Snape, though. The man had forced the pregnancy on Harry long before the curse made him go mad and although Harry now seemed far more at peace with the prospects of becoming a father, she would probably never forgive him.

Harry sighed softly. "I don't know what to feel about it," he said. "I want to feel bad for him, but— the things he's done and I don't just mean this—" he motioned at his stomach, "—but everything in school as well— I just can't feel bad. At the same time, I can't feel good about it either, because I wish he'd lived a better life with someone who loved him— none of this would have happened if he had a person who'd be willing to give him an heir freely."

Ron didn't say anything; he'd made it quite clear that he was glad that Snape was out of their lives. Hermione hadn't even berated him for saying it.

Ron stood up from the couch. "Would the two of you like some dinner? I thought we could order some take-out for once."

Harry nodded. "Sure." He paused for a second. "I just have one more question. You said that Snape Apparated away with me and Hermione to the dungeons at his Manor. How on earth did you find us so quickly?"

Ron and Hermione both smiled slightly and Hermione answered his question. "Remember how you told me back when this all started that Snape would be really pissed at me and that I should get some extra protection?" Harry nodded. "Well, I had a permanent tracing spell placed on me, which is linked to Ron. He'll be able to find me anywhere now – and the other way around."

Ron nodded. "Snape's place just had a few wards that we had to dismantle, that's why it took us a few minutes."

He squeezed Hermione's hand, apologizing silently again for the pain Snape was able to cause her in those few minutes. She smiled at him, wordlessly telling him it was all right.

* * *

"What are you going to name her?" Hermione asked. 

Harry shrugged as he set down the plates. "I— haven't decided yet," he said. He bit his lip as though he was about to say something more, but he didn't.

"Haven't you at least thought of any names?" Hermione asked.

"No, Hermione," Harry said, his tone a bit stronger; he didn't want her to ask.

"Oh," Hermione said, noticing the sound of his voice. She paused for a second, then asked, "When are you going to buy the baby things?"

"What baby things?" Harry asked.

Hermione turned to look at him with a frown on her face. "A crib? Clothes? Diapers? And those other five billion things you'll find that you need to take care of a baby?"

"I'll do it— later," Harry said.

Hermione's frown stayed put, but she didn't say anything. Perhaps Harry wasn't quite as all right with becoming a father as she'd thought, but she left it alone. He would come to terms with it – at least she hoped he would.

* * *

Two weeks before his baby was due, Harry stopped working. By then, he'd only been back for ten days after the Snape ordeal; Angelina had given him time off to recuperate and now she was giving him time off because, "It takes you longer to get out of your chair to do something for me than for me to do it myself." Harry chuckled softly at this; it was true. Moving around was becoming truly difficult and he had to think twice before sitting down on a couch, as it wasn't a given that he'd be able to get up by himself. Ron had some fun with this as he had to help his best friend up. 

Pains that his Maternity Healer called 'practice contractions' started happening more often and more forcefully; so forcefully that Harry at one point went to the hospital, believing he was in labour. After all, the slit that the baby was going to come out of was now fully formed and his belly hung much lower now than it had a few weeks ago. The baby was calmer and didn't kick or move around as much. The Healer explained to him that it was because there wasn't as much space to move around in now as it had been when the baby was smaller.

The baby managed to press on Harry's bladder well enough though, which had him running to the bathroom every five minutes – or at least that was what it felt like.

He woke up in the middle of the night by the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. He was at his own apartment, as he'd wanted to give Hermione and Ron some time alone.

"Here we go again," he muttered as he slowly managed to get his legs over the side of the bed and get himself into a standing position.

His back ached as he made his way to the bathroom. He knew he was waddling; Ron had teased him about it. Harry didn't know how it was possible not to waddle with this great big weight hanging off of him though, so he walked the only way he could.

Relieving himself in the bathroom, Harry then winced as he felt another of those practice contractions. It wasn't all that painful; more like a drawn-out pinch. He rubbed his aching back and started on his way back to bed.

He'd just entered his room again when he felt water tricking down his legs and he looked down to find a wet spot on the floor. His eyes widened as he realised that perhaps those practice contractions weren't for practice this time at all. He swallowed nervously and made his way over to the fireplace. He hoped he wasn't about to disturb his best friends during something— personal.

"Hermione? Ron?" he said as he was connected to their apartment.

It took a minute, but then Ron's head appeared in the fireplace. "Harry? What is it?"

"I— I think my water just broke," Harry said. "I think the baby's about to make her grand appearance."

Ron stared at him. "Let me get Hermione," he said weakly.

Harry nodded. He kept one hand wrapped around his belly, feeling the baby press down heavily. It was a strange sensation, even though he'd carried her for nine months and was used to new things.

Hermione's head appeared, looking both excited and nervous. "We'll be right over, Harry," she told him. "We're just going to get dressed and then we'll be there."

Harry nodded, then gasped as another contraction took hold of him. It was stronger than the last one; it felt like someone was pinching his insides and twisting them around. It lasted for nearly a minute, Hermione estimated, then hurried off to get dressed. Harry panted, trying to focus on his breathing as the Maternity Healer had said he should.

A few minutes later, Hermione and Ron Floo'd into Harry's bedroom. Harry was by then up and walking, as it felt better to move.

"I know it's probably going to be hours until the baby's born," Hermione said, "but for safety's sake, let's go to St. Mungo's."

Harry nodded.

Floo'ing while in labour was not something Harry ever wanted to do again. His body responded even worse than usual and when he arrived at the hospital, he sank to all fours and expelled the content of his stomach onto the floor. Ron winced and Hermione spelled it away immediately, helping Harry to his feet.

Half an hour later, Harry was lying on a bed. The contractions kept coming about fifteen minutes apart, though they were getting stronger. The Healers had left him alone for now, knowing that it would be a while before anything happened for real. They recommended for Harry to move around every now and then.

"There is also a shower in there," a Healer had told him and pointed to the bathroom. "Many in labour find it relaxing to take a shower."

Harry got off the bed and walked around a bit. When the next contraction came, he doubled over and Hermione and Ron hurried to his side to help him stay upright.

"I think I'll take that relaxing shower now," Harry panted as the contraction loosened its hold on him.

He undressed in the privacy of the bathroom, looking at his distorted body in the full-length mirror. He couldn't quite decide if it was beautiful or hideous, so he let the thought go and allowed his mind and body to be soothed by the warm water.

When the Healer came back an hour after Harry arrived at the hospital, Harry had a request for him. "Can you call them now? I don't know how long this'll be but I know they want to be here."

Hermione and Ron looked like living question marks. "Who, Harry?"

Harry just smiled softly and Hermione thought he looked at peace for the first time in a long time.

* * *

Two hours later, the contractions were coming every five minutes. He was still only a few centimetres dilated and the Healers said he had several hours ahead of him before he'd be dilated enough for the baby to be able to come out. 

Ron and Hermione had gone to find something to eat when the door opened and two strangers entered; a man and a woman in their thirties. They both looked nervous and excited.

"How are you doing, Harry?" asked the woman softly.

"Just fine, save for the whole in-labour thing," Harry said and then he squeezed his eyes shut and balled his hands into fists as another contraction wracked through his body.

The woman took his hand and held it until the contraction passed.

The door opened and Hermione and Ron entered. They stopped, surprised to see the two strangers in the room.

"Um— hi," said Hermione, looking from the two strangers to Harry.

"Hermione, Ron," said Harry, "meet Pernilla and Leonard Cordell. Pernilla, Leonard, these are my two best friends, Hermione and Ron."

The woman walked over and shook Hermione's hand. "It's nice to finally meet you. Harry has told us what a great help you've been."

She shook Ron's hand as well and Leonard followed her example.

Hermione stared. "I— I don't mean to be rude," she said, looking wholly confused, "but who are you?"

Harry looked down and then met her questioning gaze. He said quietly, "They're going to be the baby's parents."

Both Hermione and Ron's jaws dropped. Hermione asked, shell-shocked, "You're not keeping her?"

Harry smiled slightly. "No."

He felt another contraction starting to build up; they were starting to come closed together. He focused on his breathing rather than on his best friends' shocked faces and got through the contraction well enough.

When he became aware of everything around him again, he noticed that Hermione and Ron were still staring wide-eyed at Harry.

"Perhaps we should go outside and talk and let you rest a little?" Pernilla suggested.

Harry watched them leave and when the door closed, he chuckled. "Well, I guess it's just you and me now," he said, rubbing his stomach gently.

* * *

Several hours later, Harry had been moved to the delivery room. He wasn't quite aware of what was going on any longer since the pain seemed never-ending; as soon as one contraction let go, a new one seemed to start. Still, he knew that the room was crowded; Ron and Hermione were both in there to support him and Pernilla and Leonard were there to see their baby being born. There were also several Healers, though Harry couldn't tell how many because they kept moving around. 

"All right, we are getting ready now," said one Healer, looking between Harry's legs. "You are nine centimetres dilated."

If he hadn't been in so much pain, Harry would have been beet red with embarrassment that someone was staring at the unnatural slit between his legs, but as it was, he didn't care. All he wanted was for this to be over.

Time seemed to pass in slow motion. Then the contractions seemed to change, to become more powerful. Harry told the Healer so and he nodded.

"You are dilated enough; it's time for your baby to be born," he said. "With the next contraction, I want you to concentrate on pushing the baby out. It will feel quite natural. Trust your instincts."

Harry nodded, panting hard.

"Focus on your breathing; it will help you as well," the Healer continued.

Harry couldn't remember much of the next minutes. There was intense, searing pain as the baby's head crowned and was pushed through the slit. Harry felt like his insides were stretched in a way that shouldn't be possible, but the Healer told him that everything was going perfectly. When it came to the shoulders, Harry had to scream for real; he couldn't remember even the Cruciatus being so painful. The Healer told him to push; said that it would all be over soon. Harry tried to focus on his breathing as he'd been told, though it was hard. The pain filled his brain.

"There we go, just a little more," the Healer said. He felt someone take his hand and he squeezed it hard. Vaguely, he hoped he wasn't hurting whoever the hand belonged to.

The shoulders passed suddenly and a moment later, the baby seemed to slide out of him. Harry breathed hard, his chest heaving.

"Congratulations, you have a girl," said the Healer, though Harry barely heard it. Someone dabbed his forehead with a cool cloth and told him how well he'd done. He heard the Healer ask if the Cordells would like to cut the umbilical cord.

The Healer told him that the placenta would come out next and Harry was supposed to help it along.

"Just continue to bear down and it will come out," the Healer said.

Fifteen minutes later, Harry lay spent on the bed. His stomach, although the skin was still stretched, was no longer swollen like a beach ball.

The milk in Harry's breasts was extracted with a spell into a bottle, which was given to Pernilla so that she could feed the tiny baby girl. Harry felt his eyes tear up as he watched the new mother and her baby together. Because that was what the girl was; she was Pernilla's baby, not his. Pernilla had promised that Harry could come and visit them if he wanted to, but for now, Harry wanted to keep his distance. He knew that if he held the baby now, he would want to keep her and that wouldn't be right.

"She's beautiful," Hermione told him, squeezing his hand.

Harry tried to will away the lump in his throat without success. "I know."

"What made you decide?" Hermione asked after a moment's silence. She looked at Pernilla and the baby.

Harry sighed and looked away. "I realised I love her," he said thickly. "But I can't take care of myself yet, much less a baby. I didn't want her to grow up like I did, feeling unwanted and not cared for enough. I want her to have the childhood I didn't, Hermione. I can't give her that, but the Cordells can. They've wanted a baby for six years, but she's sterile— I—" He paused, taking a deep breath. "They'll love her."

Hermione gathered him up in her arms and held him as he shook.

* * *

Harry returned home to an apartment that seemed oddly empty. He was glad for his returned sense of balance and the ability to move around freely again, but the empty feeling inside got him down sometimes. Still, in his heart he knew that he had done the right thing. He didn't know how to take care of a baby and he wasn't well enough to learn yet. He didn't want to play with someone else's life to see if it worked out. What kind of scarred child would he raise if it didn't work out? Harry didn't want to think about it. No, everything was better with the Cordells raising Cecily. 

Harry smiled slightly. Cecily. That was what they had named the baby. The child had black hair just like her fathers and Harry's nose; Harry had seen a picture. Harry was glad that the child didn't look much like Snape at all.

On May twentieth, a couple of weeks after giving birth, Harry was invited by the Cordells to their house. Harry Apparated there, glad that he could Apparate once more. Floo'ing was not something he wanted to do again, preferably not ever.

The Cordell's house was small but nicely kept with a green backyard and a white porch. Pernilla was sitting there in a rocking chair with Cecily in her arms. Harry couldn't help but smile.

He walked up the walkway and Pernilla turned, hearing him come. She stood carefully, changing the baby slightly in her arms.

"Harry," she said. Harry couldn't help but think she looked beautiful; she was wearing a light summer dress that fit her perfectly. "I'm so glad you could come."

Cecily was asleep in her arms. She looked peaceful, dressed in a red jumpsuit with small figures on it. Her thumb was in her mouth.

"Is she all right?" Harry asked, gazing down at his daughter. "Is she healthy?"

Pernilla nodded. "Yes, she's perfectly healthy and developing just as she should."

"So the poison didn't—" Harry started. It was a worry that had been nagging on him for weeks.

"No, Harry, it didn't hurt her," Pernilla said. She cocked her head to the side and asked, "Would you like to hold her?"

Harry looked at her nervously. "Can I?"

"Of course," Pernilla said. She helped him place his arms correctly to support the baby's head and he gasped as he felt the tiny, warm weight in his arms. Cecily made a small sound but didn't wake. The baby felt odd in his arms, unusual. To think that this little person had spent nine months inside of him was overwhelming.

"Come," Pernilla said, "let's sit down."

She led Harry gently to the porch, where she sat Harry down in the rocking chair. Harry's eyes were set on Cecily.

After several minutes of silence when Harry tried to come to terms with the idea that this child was the baby he'd carried, he looked up at Pernilla.

"I'm glad you have her now," he said. "I couldn't love her the way she needs to be loved."

Pernilla smiled softly. "Oh Harry," she said, "I think you love her more than anyone ever will."

Harry smiled slightly, warmed by Angelina's words. He gazed down at Cecily. "Some day, I will have a child of my own," he said. "Some day, when I'm ready."

Pernilla nodded. "I know you will. And you'll be the best father anyone could have."

Harry smiled wider.

When he left the Cordell's home that afternoon, Harry felt more at peace than he had ever felt in his life. A tiny part of him felt something akin to gratitude towards Snape, who had given him this gift. He didn't have the energy to hate Snape anymore; he had too many other things to do and experience in his life. Perhaps he would even find someone to spend his life with like Ron and Hermione had, and Pernilla and Leonard. It seemed nice.

Still, for now, Harry was happy to be alive. Before he found someone to share his life with, he had to learn to live his life himself.

He was glad that he'd been able to give the Cordells what they wanted the most and he was glad that although he would not be Cecily's father, he could still see her. He would watch her grow and become a beautiful person from afar.

Harry smiled; there was a bounce in his step that hadn't been there in years. He was going to enjoy life from now on.

_The End

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_To see my longer author's notes on this story, please visit my site: cosmicuniverse . net and click on fiction --> mpreg archive._

_If you have any comments on the story, please leave a review._


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